


These Feelings

by waterbird13



Series: Tumblr Fics [47]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coming Out, Demisexual Sam, Developing Relationship, M/M, Panromantic Sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-04-02 11:33:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4058473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterbird13/pseuds/waterbird13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas has feelings for Sam. It doesn't matter if Sam will never want him back.</p>
<p>Then Sam spells out how he really feels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	These Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone--  
> Here's another old fic I'm moving from Tumblr.  
> Warnings: demisexual, panromantic Sam. Some pining. Developing relationship.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Dean tells Cas that Sam doesn’t feel that way. He reminds Cas of Jess and Madison and Ruby and Amelia, as if Cas needed reminding. 

He was nice when he said it. Cas can tell that Dean truly is just trying to spare Cas frustration and heartache. 

Cas listens and takes the words to heart, but he can’t stop himself from having feelings for Sam.

Strong Sam, beautiful Sam, brilliant Sam, courageous, kind, caring, wonderful Sam.

He notices that while Dean flirts and even goes home with the occasional girl, Sam never does. He rebuffs attempts, withdraws firmly from wandering, apparently unwelcome hands.

Dean is already gone, a beautiful girl with a head of bouncy curls and a big smile dragging him off. A girl at the bar had expressed a clear interest in Sam, but Sam had turned her away and brought drinks back to their table.

“Why do you never accept any of them?” Cas asks.

Sam doesn’t pretend to not know what Cas is talking about. “Because I don’t want any of them.”

“They’re very attractive.”

“Yes.”

“So…why not?”

Sam shrugs. “It doesn’t work that way, Cas, not for me. I gotta…I gotta know someone, and like them, and usually…love them, in some way, first.”

Cas considers this information. He knows it’s not precisely standard, that Dean often barely knows a name before he considers someone appropriate to have sex with. But he also knows that Sam feels how he feels. “Okay,” he says, nodding, thinking that he understands now. Sam needs to love his girlfriends first.

Sam isn’t done though. “Besides…” he says hesitantly. “I already feel that way about…someone. And I don’t…I don’t know. I’m stuck on it, I guess.”

“Amelia?” Cas guesses.

Sam starts. “No. No, that’s done. Over with. I’m long over that.”

“Then who?” Cas asks.

Sam looks down, away, avoiding Cas’ eyes. “No one,” he says. “It’s…not important.”

“It’s important to you,” Cas protests. “Why didn’t we know you had feelings for someone? Why do you never see her?”

“Who said they’re a her?” Sam asks.

“Because you are attracted to women,” Cas says.

“No,” Sam says. “Well, yes. I am. But not…only.”

“Oh,” Cas says, and it takes a moment for his brain to catch up, for him to realize the enormity of what he’s just heard.

He tells himself to settle down and drop it. Just because Sam is attracted to a man doesn’t mean he’s attracted to Cas.

Sam looks up at Cas and shrugs. “He wouldn’t want me, anyways.”

“Then he’s an idiot,” Cas blurts.

Sam looks at him curiously. “Why?”

“Because you’re wonderful, Sam,” Cas says. “Because you’re…you’re kind and caring, and brave and brilliant and good, Sam.”

_Because how could anyone not love you as I do_ , goes unsaid, but Cas thinks Sam hears something akin to it regardless. Sam looks at him with something like wonder in his eyes.

“Cas,” he says, “I…I’ve said too much, and this is going to be so awkward, and we can just forget about it after, but I need to know…do you…could you…”

“I have loved you, Sam Winchester, for a long time now,” Cas says, letting himself hope, fervently wishing that he understands things correctly.

Sam’s whole body relaxes as a grin breaks over his face. “Yeah? ‘Cause I gotta tell you, Cas. I’m pretty sure I have too.”


End file.
